Unconditional Love - A Vital Aspect of Successful Relationships

Although we may not always realise that we are doing it, we normally place conditions on our happiness. We decide that we will be happy when certain conditions are met in our lives - for instance, we might decide that we must live in a particular type of house in a particular location for us to be truly satisfied and happy . Or it might be about a situation that we feel must come about - for example, we decide that we must get a particular job promotion so that we can be content in our work. There is one other big condition that we often set before we think we can find happiness - we must find Mr or Mrs Right. We believe another person in the shape of a partner will make us happy.

Think about all the conditions you have set yourself for happiness - make a list of them. Notice how we can spend our whole life waiting for these things to be fulfilled. Even if we fulfil one, we then create a new one! All of these conditions have one thing in common, and ironically it is a flaw that prevents us ever finding lasting happiness. Each of these conditions is about bringing something from the outside, to make us happy. Each of these conditions is designed to meet a need - to fill an emptiness we have inside. These conditions fail because ultimately we cannot askanybody else or any situation to heal our insecurities and sense of lack - we must do that ourselves.

In the relationship work I do, I often hear people complaining that their partner does not do things right - fails to meet their expectations of a devoted, loving partner. They normally say that they no longer love their partner in the way they did when they first met - they think their partner has changed. This is conditional love - it says that "when you behave in the way I want you to, then I will love you." This places a huge demand on the other person and they feel they are being judged. They might find that they are frozen out and starved of love, unless they behave in the expected way. It is not surprising that this control will damage or destroy a relationship.

The way forward is therefore Unconditional Love, which as it's name suggest, sets absolutely no conditions on the love that we feel for another person. It really does mean that we will love them no matter how they behave or treat us. Of course this can be a real 'stretch' because we will often feel that the other person does not deserve our love. To break-through this resistance we need to look within and see that the every thing we are asking as a condition of our love is something we are not doing ourselves. For instance - we might say that the condition of our love is that our partner must listen to us and understand us as a person. But how well have we listened to and understood them? As all bad behaviour originates from low self-esteem, if they are not behaving in the way we want them to, then we have failed to fully understand why this is. If we could see their inner pain we would know why they are not meeting our conditions and immediately know how to respond with empathy and compassion.

Tip

To be able to love somebody unconditionally we need to be able to see through the surface behaviour to the beautiful, innocent, perfect person underneath. If you find this hard to do today - think back to the time you fell in love with them. Those amazing feelings came about because you were loving them unconditionally - faults and all! It was only later those faults became more obvious as you settled down to a longer-term relationship. So think back to those heady times and visualise yourselves back in that situation of falling in love. Re-live those feelings and then take a long, compassionate look at your partner - see their beauty and grace and imagine yourself melting into them. Forgive them for failing your conditions and forgive yourself for doing the same. If you can, tell them how much you appreciate and love them and remind them of those original wonderful times together - those feelings are still available as soon as you stop judging them and placing conditions on your love.

Conditional love is a viscous circle because if we withdraw our love as a form of punishment, our partner does exactly the same to us. Unconditional love has the opposite effect - it reinforces itself because the forgiveness and acceptance is felt as pure love by our partners and they then naturally return it. Practice unconditional love at every opportunity with your partners, family, friends and colleagues - it is the key to sustained happiness.

Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationship counsellor and life coach. He runs relationship and self-development workshops in the UK. For more free relationship advice and information his books, go to http://www.iloveyouloveme.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_John_Granger

Nicole Austin aka Coco

Mileena Hayes

FORBES TOP TEN WORLD'S RICHEST MEN 2008

Forbes Top Ten Richest Americans 2007

Forbes Top 20 Richest Rappers

RECORD RENT

'CHICAGO' RIVER: Richards sells his co-op, which has listed at $22.7M

Donald Trump is asking for a new record rent of $200,000 a month for one of his unsold Park Avenue penthouses.

The 10-room duplex condominium at Trump Park Avenue, which is also for sale at $45 million, includes three bedrooms, 6½ baths, huge terraces, high ceilings, a grand staircase, and panoramic views of Manhattan and beyond.

"It can't be trumped," exclaimed Brown Harris Stevens listing broker Kathy Sloane. "It really is the most impressive residence on Park Avenue."

Located atop the former Delmonico Hotel, the gut-renovated 6,200-square-foot apartment features two roof terraces with views of the city and Central Park, a large master suite with separate baths and dressing rooms, a third smaller terrace, a library, a den, prewar details, chandeliers, four exposures and more than 50 windows. There is also a 45-foot-long living/dining room with a 16-foot ceiling.

Building residents, who include Alex Rodriguez, Ivanka Trump and Donny Deutsch, have full hotel services, valet parking and a health club at their disposal.

Marty's millions

Speaking of broker Kathy Sloane, after chatting with her yesterday, we discovered on our own that her listing for Oscar-winning producer Marty Richards' apartment went to contract.

We're told it's selling for somewhere just below its $22.7 million asking price.

The buyer of the "Chicago" producer's 14-room co-op duplex at stately River House, located on the East River at 435 E. 52nd St., is said to be fashion-show mogul Elyse Kroll.

The ornate four-bedroom, 5½-bath apartment has two sitting rooms, four fireplaces, a state-of-the-art audio/visual system, a library, two powder rooms, a wet bar and river-fronting bay windows in every major room.

Believe it or not, Kroll is actually downsizing with this purchase. She's still trying to sell her huge, 23-room townhouse with two elevators on Sutton Square for $29.75 million.

Heli, yeah!

No matter how much money you spend for a Hamptons property, there's one amenity that's simply not available, or legal: a private FAA-approved heliport.

So if you want to park a whirlybird legally in your own oceanfront back yard, one listing in Newport, RI, is offering that exact perk. The home is also one of the most beautiful estates in the Northeast.

Known as Hopedene, the spread, which is listed at $22.5 million, sits on famed Cliff Walk with 6 manicured acres and a total of 15 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms in its sumptuously renovated, circa-1902 Georgian Revival-style main and carriage houses. The estate also includes an oceanfront pool and spa, a tennis court and gated entrances.

The owners are Palm Beach socialites Craig Millard (the retired chairman of Prudential Preferred Properties who sold his company in 1999) and his wife, Michele.

Included in the sprawling main residence are six en-suite bedrooms with marble fireplaces, four children's bedrooms, a library with paneled walls and gilt accents, a ballroom-size dining room, an "anteroom" with fireplace, two salons, a sunroom, an elevator and a generator system.

There are only four FAA-approved private heliports in Newport; the others are at the nearby Doris Duke estate; Malbone Castle, the 17-acre estate where George Washington supposedly dined; and a condo development.

Melanie Delman of Lila Delman Real Estate has the listing.

The Milner Motors Air Car...It Flies and You Can Drive It

Oh yay, another flying car story, they are always so pretty but they never can fly. The Milner Motors AirCar will debut at the New York International Auto Show, March 21-30. The Milner Motors AirCar is a four-seat advanced-composite car that is designed so that you can fly to your destination but then fold up the wings and drive it down the highway. There is a foldable main wing in the rear of the vehicle and a lifting projection in the front. It will weight around 3,000 pounds and will reportedly cruise at 200 m.p.h It has a 28-foot wingspan and on the ground the wings fold to seven feet wide. The plane is powered by two rotary engines and a separate 40 horsepower engine powers the car. The prototype they will be displaying at the car show doesn't fly, it's just meant to show that flight is possible. The flying cars are expected to cost $450,000.

Georgia's priciest home hits the market - $45 Million

$45 million, 90-acre estate features private 18-hole golf course

By JULIE B. HAIRSTON
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 03/19/08

The most expensive real estate listing in Georgia has hit the market.

Le Reve, a 90-acre estate on Trammel Road near Cumming, is for sale for a cool $45 million.

James Simons, a Realtor with Jenny Pruitt & Associates's Buckhead office, is handling the sale of Le Reve. He said he will use the brokerage's affiliation with Christie's to market the property globally.

"We're going to throw a wide net to see if we can capture someone from around the world," Simons said.

He also plans to showcase the property locally with a series of events later in the year.

Owners Hubert and Norma Humphrey -- who are not related to the late vice president -- are looking to downsize from the 82-room, 47,000-square-foot home on the property.

The couple started building the complex in 2004 after the city of Atlanta denied them a permit to expand their former home on Garman Road. Construction took three years.

Hubert Humphrey is the founder of World Leadership Group, a marketing and mortgage brokerage company.

Designed by Atlanta architect Norman Askins, the four-floor mansion features a 28-foot foyer, two elevators, a 12-car garage, stables, a home theater modeled after the Fabulous Fox in downtown Atlanta, 17 bathrooms, 62 televisions, 300 miles of high-tech wiring and a collection of antiques, furnishings and custom paintings assembled by Norma Humphrey with her three-decorator team.

Le Reve's 18-hole private golf course was added in 2005.
Targeting elite clients

Finding buyers with deep enough pockets to plunk down $45 million for a house requires far more than a For Sale sign and a run of traditional advertising.

Rosina Seydel, an agent with Atlanta Fine Homes launched her marketing effort for a $20 million listing on West Paces Ferry Road late last year. She plans to pay her own fare for a marketing trip to Hong Kong with other agents from the Sotheby's International Realty.

"The people who sell in these price points ... know you've got to get out there," Seydel said in an interview for an earlier AJC story before the trip. "It's all about networking."

Establishing a distinctive personality for the house is an essential goal of the ultra-luxury marketing campaign, agents say.

Most multimillion-dollar houses have names as well as addresses. And their marketing always includes an individual Web site like the one now showcasing Le Reve, www.humphreyestate.com.

Pictures of the home for the Web site and fat, slick real estate marketing magazines are crucial, which means big bucks for the highest-quality photos.

"The photo is probably most important, " said Glennis Beacham, one of Atlanta's top luxury brokers, in the earlier story.

Barbara Malm, another luxury agent with Jenny Pruitt & Associates, said for the earlier story every part of the marketing campaign has to promote the right mood in the buyer's mind.

"You have to sell the charm, the elegance," Malm said. "You have to take someone to the place it was created for."

And then you spread the word among the select network.

"It's just being in the right place with the right people, " said Seydel, who is providing her West Paces Ferry listing as a backdrop for several charity events. "I know that certain people hang out in certain circles, and it's important to get them in there so they can talk about it."

Finding that right buyer can take a long time. Experts estimate that seven-figure properties require a year or more on the market. And the sale can result from an unexpected encounter.

"Sometimes, it's just sheer luck, " Malm said.

TIGER WOODS BUYS $65M ESTATE IN HAMPTONS

$65M SAND BUNKER

By BRADEN KEIL

A PLACE TO HOLE UP: Tiger Woods and wife Elin have a new dream house that covers six acres off Southampton's posh Gin Lane and is "one of the oldest and grandest estates on the East End."

March 18, 2008 -- Tiger has a brand-new lair - a $65 million estate in the Hamp tons where he can send his chip shots flying into the ocean.

Located on exclusive Gin Lane, Tiger Woods' estate is on nearly six gated acres with a 13,200-square-foot Colonial Revival main residence, a 7,500-square-foot guesthouse and a four-car garage with staff quar ters.

The lush grounds feature an oversized seaside pool with spa, a tennis court, a lily pond and professionally groomed gardens.

And no doubt soon a miniature golf course, where he and wife Elin can teach their 9-month-old daughter, Sam Alexis, the basics.

It's just the latest acquisition the greatest golfer in the world has scored. Woods' portfolio includes:

* A $40 million estate on Jupiter Island, Fla., which was partially destroyed last year in a fire.

* A 155-foot-long yacht, Privacy.

* A 16,500-square-foot palace with pool and theater that he is building at the golf course he has designed in Dubai.

His new neighbors in Southampton include real-estate developer Alfred Taubman, former New York Times publisher Arthur Ochs "Punch" Sulzberger and fashion designer Vera Wang.

Included in the recently renovated 19th-century manor home are six bedroom suites, a music room, a cypress wood-paneled library and staff quarters.

The guesthouse, which also features ocean views, includes three bedrooms, each with bathrooms, a den and a kitchen.

"It's one of the oldest and grandest estates on the East End," one broker said. "As soon as something goes on the market on Gin Lane it gets snapped up quickly, even in this slowing economy."

Woods' bid nearly landed in the rough.

"Tiger almost lost the house," a source said.

"Another buyer came in with a higher offer, but the deal was already sealed just hours before."

The seller of the estate, known as "By the Sea," is Austrian-born leveraged-buyout specialist, Gerhard Andlinger, 77.

braden.keil@nypost.com

Mills Awarded $48.6M From McCartney

Mills Awarded $48.6M From McCartney

By JILL LAWLESS
Associated Press Writer

LONDON — Paul McCartney's divorce from Heather Mills was settled Monday for $48.6 million — an enormous sum, but a fraction of what she had sought and a sliver of the former Beatle's $800 million fortune.

A document released by the Family Court said the judge awarded Mills a lump sum of $33 million plus the assets she currently holds worth $15.6 million.

(enlarge photo) Heather Mills, center, arrives in central London's Royal Courts of Justice, for the announcement of the judgment in her divorce case with Paul McCartney, Monday, March 17, 2008. McCartney, 65, and Mills, 40, went to court last month to decide on Mills' share of the former Beatle's fortune, which is estimated at as much as 825 million pounds (US$1.6 billion; €1 billion). Media reports have suggested McCartney offered his wife around 25 million pounds (US$50 million; €32 million) and that she was seeking at least double that amount. (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)

"I'm so, so happy with this," Mills told reporters following the closed hearing.

The court also ruled that the couple's 4-year-old daughter Beatrice should receive a "periodical payments order" of $70,000 per annum. On top of that, McCartney will pay for the child's nanny and school fees.

"I'm so glad it's over," Mills said at her impromptu news conference.

"It was an incredible result in the end to secure mine and my daughter's future and that of all the charities that I obviously plan on helping and making a difference with — because you know it has been my life for 20 years," she said.

McCartney left the court without making any statement.

While pleased with the financial settlement, Mills intends to appeal to prevent publication of the details of the settlement for the couple's daughter.

McCartney, 65, and Mills, 40, went to court last month to decide on Mills' share of his fortune, which had been estimated at as much as $1.6 billion.

Judge Hugh Bennett, however, found that the total value of all of McCartney's assets, including his business assets, was about $800 million.

Mills said the settlement vindicated her decision to fire her lawyers. The legal fees, she said, instead "could easily go to charity."

"Obviously the court do not want a litigant in person to do well, it's against everything that they ever wish, so when they write the judgment up they're never going to make it look in favor," she said.

"But all of you that have researched know that it was always going to be a figure between 20 and 30 million (pounds), Paul was offering a lot less than that, which you'll see in the judgment, and very much last minute to put me and Beatrice sadly through this ... incredibly sad."

Mills had sought almost $250 million, while McCartney had said she should receive $31.6 million, including her own assets, which the court assessed at $15.6 million.

She had harsh words for McCartney's lawyer, Fiona Shackleton, who was well known for representing Prince Charles in his divorce from Princess Diana.

"She has called me many, many names before even meeting me when I was in a wheelchair," said Mills.

The settlement has been a long time coming for the couple, who separated two years ago, after four years of marriage. At the time they said the parting was "amicable" and insisted "both of us still care about each other very much."

But the split has grown fractious since McCartney filed for divorce alleging his wife's "unreasonable behavior."

Mills — a former model whose left leg was amputated below the knee after a motorcycle accident in 1993 — claimed McCartney had failed to protect her and their daughter from slander, death threats and other abuse, and accused the media of persecuting her. In November, Mills said she had been "treated worse than a murderer or a pedophile," despite years of work for land mine victims and animal welfare charities.

McCartney met Mills in 1999, the year after the death from breast cancer of his first wife, Linda. That marriage was one of rock's most enduring unions, and produced three children, including fashion designer Stella McCartney.

Mills and McCartney married at an Irish castle in June 2002, amid rumors that McCartney's children disapproved of their new stepmother. The couple's daughter was born the following year.

___

March 17, 2008 - 4:24 p.m. Copyright 2008, The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP Online news report may not be published, broadcast or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Ashley Alexandra "Kristen" Dupre - It pays to be an escort...$4,500 for doing Gov. Spitzer

What You Get for ...$8 Million

Homes on the market in Arizona, Florida and Montana. More Photos >

By ANNA BAHNEY

Published: March 5, 2008

Miami Beach

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WHAT: A seven-bedroom eight-bath contemporary home with 7,435 square feet of space on San Marco Island.

HOW MUCH: $7,950,000

PER SQUARE FOOT: $1,069.28

SETTING: The house is on the Venetian Causeway, in a residential enclave about halfway between downtown Miami and Miami Beach. It has 60 feet of water frontage with views of Biscayne Bay and downtown Miami. Lincoln Road in South Beach is within walking distance.

COMMON SPACES: The entryway opens up into a three-story-high atrium and the living room. The kitchen has a breakfast booth with views of the water. There is an entertainment and media room on the second floor with its own terrace.

PERSONAL SPACES: The master suite has Brazilian hardwood floors, as well as an en suite bathroom with a soaking tub; a walk-in closet; and a terrace overlooking the water. Each of the other bedrooms, including a large guest suite with its own balcony, has its own bath. There is a staff bedroom is on the first floor.

OUTDOOR SPACE: A private elevator opens directly onto a rooftop patio surrounding an infinity-edge pool; an owner could entertain without guests’ having to enter the house. The property also has a dock, a putting green and a lap pool.

AMENITIES: These include a three-car garage and a centrally controlled media network for televisions and audio throughout the house.

TAXES: $96,608 a year

CONTACT: Nelson Gonzalez, Esslinger-Wooten-Maxwell Realtors Inc. (305) 674-4040; www.nelsongonzalez.com

Belgrade, Mont.

WHAT: A 1,048-acre ranch with a three-bedroom, three-and-a-half-bath log lodge, a horse barn with caretaker’s quarters and a two-car garage with a one-bedroom apartment

HOW MUCH: $8,000,000

PER SQUARE FOOT: $1,941.75, or $7,633 per acre

SETTING: Bremmer Creek and Willie’s Spring flow through the property, which has deer, elk, bears, mountain lions, cranes, bald eagles, Hungarian partridge and grouse. The ranch is 30 miles north of Bozeman and the second-largest airport in the state, Gallatin Field. Yellowstone National Park is two hours south.

COMMON SPACES: A double-height living room has a vaulted ceiling and a fireplace. A wet bar is open to the dining area and kitchen. On the second level is a family room loft overlooking the living room.

PERSONAL SPACES: The master bedroom is on the main level. The other bedrooms are on the second floor; each has its own bath. The horse barn has a caretaker’s quarters above it with two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen.

OUTDOOR SPACE: There are open meadows, wooded areas and hilly regions

AMENITIES: The ranch comprises three parcels, each with a conservation easement that allows for a total of three additional buildings. There are corrals, a sand-based round pen and an outdoor riding arena for horses.

TAXES: $5,000 a year

CONTACT: Vivian Bridaham, The Collection Sotheby’s International Realty (406) 586-4408; www.thecollectionsir.com

Fountain Hills, Ariz.

WHAT: A 10,800-square-foot house with four bedrooms and five and a half baths in the FireRock Country Club, a gated community with an 18-hole Gary Panks-designed golf course.

HOW MUCH: $7,750,000

PER SQUARE FOOT: $717.60

SETTING: This property northeast of Scottsdale is situated on the slope of a hill; it overlooks Phoenix Valley. FireRock Country Club is about 30 minutes from the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport.

COMMON SPACES: The living room has Turkish limestone floors, a wall of built-in wood paneling and glass shelves, and a limestone gas fireplace with a flame emerging through shards of glass. An indoor heated pool has a wet bar and a massage and exercise room. The kitchen has a breakfast nook with views of the valley.

PERSONAL SPACES: The master suite has a curved wall of windows overlooking the golf course, as well as its own gas fireplace and a large walk-in closet with wood shelves. The en suite bathroom has a large soaking tub under a skylight, a walk-in steam shower and a water closet with a urinal and bidet.

OUTDOOR SPACE: The house has patios and balconies. There is a landscaped yard beyond the pool.

AMENITIES: These include a four-car garage, an elevator and a 500-bottle wine room. The laundry room has an elevated limestone dog shower. The community has a 29,000-square-foot country club with a formal dining room, a lounge and recreational activities like tennis, swimming and a fitness center.

TAXES: $4,084 a year; homeowner association fee: $455 a quarter

CONTACT: Sandra Wilken, Sandra Wilken Luxury Properties (480) 596-0001; www.sandrawilkenhomes.com

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Submarines: Hot New Toys for Wealthy Adventurers

Billionaires have started their own space race, yet more men have stepped on the moon than have gone to the deepest part of the ocean floor.

Maybe that's why it has become the next frontier for the wealthy. Dozens of the world's wealthiest individuals own submersibles, like Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen's $12 million yellow submarine.

The most cutting edge of these private subs are being created in the San Francisco Bay Area at Hawkes Ocean Technologies.

For $5 million to $10 million a piece, they build subs with wings. They "fly" through the water with fingertip control.


"Everyone loves to fly and flying underwater is even better than flying in air because there are things around you," says Graham Hawkes, owner of Hawkes Ocean Technologies.

The wing changes the underwater experience from sinking to swimming, the same way the Wright brothers used wings to change flying from balloons to airplanes. So now you can fly through the water with the fish.

"The markets are pretty much coming to us, which is nice," Hawkes' wife Karen said.

The most extreme version of Hawkes' subs is the Deep Flight Challenger, a high-speed submersible still under construction that was being built for multi-billionaire adventurer Steve Fossett.

Fosset broke several records in the air and on the water. But he also wanted to become the first person to go solo to the very bottom of the Mariana Trench — more than 36,000 feet below sea level.

Last week, Fossett was declared legally dead, having gone missing since a September flight over Nevada. But the construction on his special submersible continues as the company looks for a new buyer.

"Sorry to lose the guy," Hawkes said. "There's nobody on this planet replacing him."
© 2008 CNBC.com
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Heather Mills Reportedly Lands 108 Million In Settlement With Paul McCartney

Heather Mills and former Beatle Paul McCartney have reportedly settled their very public and bitter divorce with a whopping $108 million settlement being awarded to Mills, according to Britain's the Daily Mail.

Mills, who represented herself during the divorce, will reportedly receive a lump sum of $40 million up front, with another $5 million a year until their four-year-old daughter Beatrice turns 18.

The settlement, which includes a strict confidentiality agreement, falls short of Mills initial request of up to $160 million, according to the Daily Mail.

The Mills and McCartney settlement also reportedly establishes a $2 million trust fund for their four-year-old daughter, which will gain interest until she turns 18.

"They have agreed on all points," a source told the Daily Mail. "Nothing much has changed this week. There was a deal at the beginning, but it was a complex one."

The former couple is reportedly expected in London's High Court on Monday in front of Justice Hugh Bennett in case there are any last-minute details to work out.

Mills and McCartney were married in 2002

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This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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